a full week of hardcore professional self-assessment, of course, leaves me the weekend for hardcore personal self-assessment.
eleven months of this new life that i got myself into. am i happier? in many, many respects, yes, but a lot of that just ties to the fact that i love what i do and the people i work with. personally, i have seen very little growth. maybe i am more outgoing, maybe i am more willing to try things out of my general comfort zone, maybe i don't feel like i am betraying some bullshit ideal i have of myself by conversing with someone who has never been to a thrift store. but, still playing the comedienne, still trying to hard to impress others, still putting all of my eggs in glorified baskets that exist only in my mind.
i want to grow up. but, i also want to put on social costume and pretend my name is samantha.
someone talk some sense into me, on a grand scale. let me know something will click for me soon, and then hold me until i fall asleep.
1 comment:
awn doll, where do I begin? First of all, the mental image invoked by Samantha was a drag queen. You should look into alternate alternate ego names. Secondly, you don't need to grow up. We all have ideal versions of ourselves that we betray and invest in glorified Easter baskets. That's what life is all about. One day a bunny will hatch from an egg. And I think I've hit my max. word limit. word.
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