my brother is sometimes clever

once in awhile, teo is very, very clever. not often though.

linsey and amii, video-style

we have agreed to create and publish various hilarious videos of our daily musings.

please stay posted. hopefully we will follow through.

the feast of the beard: the rules

1. jimmy h, eight days into his beard growing, has agreed through signed contract to not shave for one month in total.
2. linsey and amii have agreed to scratch aforementioned facial growth as requested by mr. h.
3. the end of the beard will be marked with great celebration, including a thanksgiving style turkey and much wine and jack, where appropriate (linsey).
4. the shaving of the beard will commence after dinner, and much picture taking will document the occasion.
5. one hundred dollars will then exchange hands, per prior agreement.

1. flower clown

scene: tommy's restaurant
found gem: flyer for flower clown, a man that comes by every thursday night to make balloons for children of various shapes and sizes. closer inspection of the flyer and you realize that some of the balloons are, in fact, shaped very peculiarly.
interview: our waitress seems to be oblivious to the fact that this is the least bit creepy. apparently, he really enjoys himself with all the kids. apparently, he takes an annual trip to thailand, of all places, to make balloon-evening-wear. apparently, he is the sparkle in everyone's day. this children's entertainer was so amazing, the people at the next table needed to INTERRUPT ("I don't mean to interrupt...") our conversation to speak of his numerous virtues.
conclusion: i have become an expert in laughter-stifling.

10. ronnie

poor, poor ronnie... he lost his job. he has a broken L3. he has a baby on the living room floor. he has a pregnant pit bull. the old lady is always working at the repo agency (on the paperwork, but she could handle herself in the field). on top of it all, he has random people walking around the outside of his apartment building taking pictures. too bad they have to be somewhere in thirty minutes, or he could talk a little longer.

15. i thought it was prince, but it was really karaoke / 12. D's high school/early college soundtrack / 13. smoking in the bar

well, sissie's bar was jam packed and we decided we needed a more divey vibe, so we head off to my dad's old bar for what i assume would be bad country music and old men.

to my surprise, the bar has become suddenly well-lit since the last time i went in, and the average age must be around 33. there is a dj, playing hits from the aforementioned era, and to my surprise, people are smoking. everywhere. into little sucrets/altoids tins.** the younger than average bar patron next to D lights up, and the miniscule bartender tells him "Don't Be Stupid." as he is severely drunk, a what-repeat conversation goes on for a few rounds, until D steps in and tells him what the bartender said.

back to the music. after a poison song, the dj calls out a request from someone for a prince song. i am jamming along to kiss, until we realize that this is not in fact a prince song, but someone doing prince karaoke-style. unbelievable. he had the perfect falsetto and hit everything. the guy with the bloodied, broken up face even enjoyed it.

**side note, i talked to sissie about this very experience, and she informed me that bars are fined for smoking based on the number of ashtrays are in the bar. altoids container ^= ashtray. ta-da!

11. ATM Rap / 9. Do You Know Where McDonalds is?

D tells A a story from long ago - he learned that the choice for McDonalds placement is based on the economic status of a community. This seems to be very interesting information, until we run into some economically challenged folks on the non-economically challenged street and they ask us where the nearest McDonalds is. plate'o'shrimp moment. stifled laughter ensues.

New McDonald's Commercial* (names have been changed):

Jamie and Bug at the ATM
Put the card in to make amends
Get twenty dolla', sumptin to eat
Shuffle my feet to Mickey D's

Jamie, played by a african-american-lisa-bonet-type. she has a neat afro. mass appeal.
Bug, played by white-hipster-ryan-gosling-with-a-beard-type. wearing a trendy sport jacket.
start location: ATM in a neighborhood with grafitti. but the nice, pretty kind of grafitti that could have been placed there by the local art school kids.
end location: where else?



*many thanks to D for his awesome impromptu rap creation.

last minute to columbus

friday night was spent driving to columbus for an emergency trip to columbus. the emergency? leslie withdrawal. the cure? stupid, pointless fun. highlights of the 24 hour mini-trip:

1. funk/motown band - although the band was FANTASTIC, the five dollar cover was well-spent because it afforded me one straight hour of people-watching. oh boy, the people. i have never considered myself "fashionable," or "really, really, ridiculously good-looking," but five minutes in a dublin bar changed all of that. not only did i see a man dressed in a shirt buttoned-down to his belly-button with a fake fur coat and a fake tan, but countless 50-ish women in clothes meant for a 20-year old. a 20-year old from 1988. on her way to a hair-metal concert. jeesh.

2. funk/motown band 2 - overheard in the ladies room: "i mean, i was married for 24 years! and now i am divorced! i should have been divorced 20 years ago!" this may not have been as funny if it were not for two things - the woman said this exact sentence to everyone that walked into the ladies room, and leslie's mental signals to me not to laugh.

3. pho for breakie - a fix was needed.

4. rufus - leslie's dog is adorable. i had not seen him since he was a pupster, and he was in love with me to boot.

5. King of Kong - great, great movie. mostly because brian kuh was the best henchman i have seen since Philip "Showy" Showalter Hench.

senior picture

matt didn't choose this one, but i stole the proof because i loved it so! now it is online tee hee!

the birthdays

the kids had a collective birthday party this year, which makes sense because they are both young and their birthdays are less than two weeks apart.

penelope would not smoosh her hand or face into her cake. i hope she does not become high maintenance.

jonas had a blast hanging with all of the other kids. it is not often that there are a bunch of kids under five gathered together at linsey's house (good reason - space issues) and he was in his glory.

halloween

halloween has come and gone. although i was looking forward to handing out candy at my house, i was slightly pleased to have the opportunity to take the kids trick or treating with my sister. i can only imagine what it would have been like if she was by herself, as jonas was an absolute madman. at every house, he insisted on having a five minute conversation either with a dog, the person handing out candy, or the various pumpkins and halloween decorations near the front porch. highlights of the evening:

1. at one house, jonas (dressed as a dragon) was instructed that if he roared as a dragon, he would recieve an additional piece of candy. after he roared, and received the aforementioned candy, he proceeded to roar for more candy as all of the adults laughed.

2. penelope, not doing much real trick or treating, was only pushed up the driveway in her stroller when there were no stairs involved. an older woman handed her a king sized chocolate bar emblazoned with a "Jesus Loves You" sticker. auntie amii, the person-who-should-never-have-children that she is, did not take the candy bar away from her. five minutes later, linsey grabs the chocolate away from her, and examines the corner of the bar, missing, paper and all, with little penelope's face covered in chocolate.

3. the weather. in my life, i have been through snowy halloweens, freezing rain, bitter wind, etc. never have i ever walked outside for two hours on the last day of october with no jacket on (stuffed under my costume or over my clothes). ever. it was absolutely gorgeous, and having all of the candy-hander-outers sitting outside created a completely new experience.

orientation

well, i am about to start a new job tomorrow. i am very excited to get back to work after my ten month hiatus. it will be nice to be around some new people, and everyone that i have interacted with at the new company seems to be extremely high-energy, which is perfect. i already feel welcome, through phone calls, emails, and facebook interaction from my new coworkers. it is a little strange, i am feeling no apprehension or nervousness. is this adulthood, or something else...? in most respects, my confidence in life wavers back and forth from very little to way too much, and this is the first time embarking on a new venture, career-wise, that maybe i am at the too much mark. it is strange to not be worried about the new job, but worried about my lack of worry at the new job. i will just have to play it by ear, i suppose. guess it will all start with tomorrow's orientation...

luh-luh-luh-luh-lopester

lins and the kiddies dropped by my place today to check up on me and gossip. snapped a few pics (18 of penelope, 6 of jonas - i am trying to convince myself that he just poses for pictures better, and i am not playing favorites), and have decided that the new nickname lins gave to penelope is more fun than even peen-uh-lope. although, isn't a nickname supposed to be a shorter version of your original name?

anyway, don't they grow up fast? i know it is a cliche, but i can't help it...

fall

although it has technically been fall for over ten days, this was the first full twenty four hour period of full-fledged fall. rainy, overcast, chilly, just lovely. i can't wait for leaf-changing and a long drive on a clear sunny day.

looking forward to fall fest this weekend, so i can pick out a pumpkin and drink some cider. jealous?

veep debates

i sure hope sarah palin is wearing purple.