the first time, it happened too fast
the second time, i thought it would last
we all like it a little different...
28 December 2009
24 December 2009
as i sit here on christmas eve, fresh pack of smokes, writing process documents, and wrapping up some year end work details, i think ahead to 2010.
maybe three days ago, i was dreading the new year, mostly due to the fact that i am always so unsure of the decisions that i make and the consequences of those decisions. some recent conversations related to work and life, some musical interludes, and maybe a cocktail or two have given me a bit of renewed hope for the new year.
no resolutions for me, i will just continue to work super hard, have more fun, continue to live in the moment, and enjoy those around me. maybe i can have a bit of an impact on the lives of a few others.
let's tip back the jameson and see how long this lasts. happy holidays to all.
maybe three days ago, i was dreading the new year, mostly due to the fact that i am always so unsure of the decisions that i make and the consequences of those decisions. some recent conversations related to work and life, some musical interludes, and maybe a cocktail or two have given me a bit of renewed hope for the new year.
no resolutions for me, i will just continue to work super hard, have more fun, continue to live in the moment, and enjoy those around me. maybe i can have a bit of an impact on the lives of a few others.
let's tip back the jameson and see how long this lasts. happy holidays to all.
21 December 2009
lyrics
i will take a break from ranting and instead, treat all of you to a brief interlude of some beautiful, haunting song lyrics that have played their way through my mind tonight.
i have been very into song lyrics over the course of the past six or so days, and have very little people to share them with. plus, linsey is giving me the "i don't care about the fucking song lyrics and what they do to you" look. this band isn't one i need to discuss with my sister anyway, and i can't get the verse out of my head tonight. from the engine driver by the decemberists ---> here is the song on youtube, complete with weird german slideshow.
I'm a money lender
I have fortunes upon fortunes
Take my hand for tender
I am tortured, ever tortured
i feel that the song in general is about missed opportunities in life and love.
this lyric set, i just picture the guy on a park bench, the woman he thought loved him the way he loved her standing next to him, hands slipping apart, tears in her eyes as she says "i can't do this." he is devastated that it happened to him again. all he wants is to be all-consumed.
i have been very into song lyrics over the course of the past six or so days, and have very little people to share them with. plus, linsey is giving me the "i don't care about the fucking song lyrics and what they do to you" look. this band isn't one i need to discuss with my sister anyway, and i can't get the verse out of my head tonight. from the engine driver by the decemberists ---> here is the song on youtube, complete with weird german slideshow.
I'm a money lender
I have fortunes upon fortunes
Take my hand for tender
I am tortured, ever tortured
i feel that the song in general is about missed opportunities in life and love.
this lyric set, i just picture the guy on a park bench, the woman he thought loved him the way he loved her standing next to him, hands slipping apart, tears in her eyes as she says "i can't do this." he is devastated that it happened to him again. all he wants is to be all-consumed.
20 December 2009
mild loneliness, mad attention-craving, going overboard when it doesn't matter, going underboard when it should have counted, fucking stomach butterflies, all wrapped up music and ribbon. the highlights involved karaoke, snow angels, and heavy metal [that would be the 1981 canadian classic, not the genre].
sorry those out there in bijongdiariesreadershipland. don't worry about calling internationally. no stairs in my future or anything.
sorry those out there in bijongdiariesreadershipland. don't worry about calling internationally. no stairs in my future or anything.
14 December 2009
09 December 2009
thirty
three or four days shy of turning thirty. although this has been a hella fucked up year, at least half of my lived hours as a 29 y/o were pretty fantastic. here is a recap:
1. new friends of the female variety - i can always count on you to stay out with me when i should have gone home hours ago. also, we never go after the same guy in the room. you may have a lot to learn about the art of the beard or the importance of an amii-approved playlist, but that is how friendships grow.
2. time spent with the kids - i have spent a LOT of time with my sister's kids this year, mostly because i live with them, but they are hilarious. jonas, you need to stop calling people on my phone. penelope, you need to stop letting everyone know that i am your favorite. we'll work on it next year.
3. growth in the social scene - it doesn't just mean i am a better drinker.
4. deep conversation - whether it be love, loss, frustration, or sadness, i have been a better shoulder. go ahead, put me to the test. and, if you don't agree, trust me, i am way better than i used to be.
i have a lot to look forward to in the next year. burgeoning friendships, a deeper understanding of my needs and wants, a challenging career. i plan to not let the turmoil take hold so much. i plan to enjoy my life for what it is, and not what i wish it was, at least on occasion. i plan to build my lacking emotional intelligence. i plan to take advice on occasion instead of just giving it. and, of course, ridiculousness, as always, and probably some stuff i will regret.
1. new friends of the female variety - i can always count on you to stay out with me when i should have gone home hours ago. also, we never go after the same guy in the room. you may have a lot to learn about the art of the beard or the importance of an amii-approved playlist, but that is how friendships grow.
2. time spent with the kids - i have spent a LOT of time with my sister's kids this year, mostly because i live with them, but they are hilarious. jonas, you need to stop calling people on my phone. penelope, you need to stop letting everyone know that i am your favorite. we'll work on it next year.
3. growth in the social scene - it doesn't just mean i am a better drinker.
4. deep conversation - whether it be love, loss, frustration, or sadness, i have been a better shoulder. go ahead, put me to the test. and, if you don't agree, trust me, i am way better than i used to be.
i have a lot to look forward to in the next year. burgeoning friendships, a deeper understanding of my needs and wants, a challenging career. i plan to not let the turmoil take hold so much. i plan to enjoy my life for what it is, and not what i wish it was, at least on occasion. i plan to build my lacking emotional intelligence. i plan to take advice on occasion instead of just giving it. and, of course, ridiculousness, as always, and probably some stuff i will regret.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)