a full week of hardcore professional self-assessment, of course, leaves me the weekend for hardcore personal self-assessment.
eleven months of this new life that i got myself into. am i happier? in many, many respects, yes, but a lot of that just ties to the fact that i love what i do and the people i work with. personally, i have seen very little growth. maybe i am more outgoing, maybe i am more willing to try things out of my general comfort zone, maybe i don't feel like i am betraying some bullshit ideal i have of myself by conversing with someone who has never been to a thrift store. but, still playing the comedienne, still trying to hard to impress others, still putting all of my eggs in glorified baskets that exist only in my mind.
i want to grow up. but, i also want to put on social costume and pretend my name is samantha.
someone talk some sense into me, on a grand scale. let me know something will click for me soon, and then hold me until i fall asleep.